This looks like a job for
by Jedi-And
Summary: Hiotomi the Ranger, Famine the fat force and Angitia, super FOnewearl team up to do the quests of PSO! Simple quests? Yeah, right. This is a little fic about their atempts to do what is right. First quest? read and find out!


Looks like a job for...  
  
By Jedi-and  
  
Disclaimer: I don't really own anything.  
  
Famine: But. But.  
  
Jedi: Oh! I own the idea of Famine though ^_^  
  
Famine: ^-^  
  
Authors note: This is just a fun thing I thought of. Three of Pioneer 2's most diverse characters doing simple guild quests. Yes, simple. *Laughs nervously* Anyway! Let us start!  
  
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Chapter one: Weight watchers.  
  
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The day was a slow one. A Wednesday afternoon if I recall rightly, which meant half day closing on everything, which wasn't a bar or a hunters guild. Bakers put their bread trays up for the day and people took it easy this one afternoon out of the working five, or at least five if you where anything but a hunter.  
  
Speaking of hunters and bars in the same paragraph, or as close to one as I can without impersonating a novelist, three hunters had just returned from their various locations and joined each other at a bar. This was on one of the upper decks so it wasn't too rough but it still had it share of strangers, and it was one of the few bars on the upper levels that let hunters come in and relax after a hard days work of sorting the complete cock up of a situation that the government made.  
  
"Funny, isn't it?" A young woman said as she sipped a large cola (or at least their version). She was a large, round human woman with a friendly, though young face. She was very big around the middle, but the fat didn't seem to build on the chin, but more on the face giving her a round soft look. Her eyes where a deep red, to match her red and black force uniform, her hair however didn't match at all being a strange turquoise colour.  
  
"What is?" Her companion asked. She too was in red and black, with her long blonde hair in a braid. She had a large ale in her hand and a pistol on the table, as she was a ranger. Her cold blue eyes pierced out from under her large circled glasses as she looked at her friend, a death like look if ever I saw one. Her friend was unaffected.  
  
"Well think of it this way... we are hunters, correct?"  
  
"Correct."  
  
"And we sort out what is happening on the planet, correct?"  
  
"Correct." She glanced down at the paper she had in her lap.  
  
"Yet we are given the least respect out of anyone." A look of confusion came upon the face of the young ranger. "Well we can't go in to certain bars, we can not enter certain sections of Pioneer 2 after 10 pm, we must do this, we must do that..." The large woman sighed and sipped her drink again, as the ranger gulped a little ale.  
  
"One day they will realise that we are the ones doing all the work..." The blonde replied, a calm attitude in her voice.  
  
"But for now the military gets all the credit..." A young woman approached them, her hair was also braided, but in two braids this time and it was also green, a dark and vibrant green that you associate with the woodlands. Her costume was black in nature with a black bandana. I say costume because what they have to wear is a little... ridiculous? Another force but of the Fonewearl variety sat down next to the ranger and ordered a cocktail called the disco-ball, a non alcoholic drink that shimmered, and the ice in it made it look like... well... a disco ball.  
  
Before she could savour it however, a young woman, wearing blue with a label of HG on the breast pocket, approached the group. Or at least it would have been if there was a breast pocket. Lifting up a clipboard she read down it.  
  
"Ranger Hiotomi? She asked. Hiotomi, the Ranger of Rangers, cold, calculating with a thirst for ale.  
  
"Here." She replied, not looking up from what she was reading. The woman in blue continued.  
  
"Force, Newman, Angitia?" She asked in the same, dissatisfied tone. The woman with the green hair raised a hand, then reached for her drink.  
  
"Here if I like it or not." She replied lightly, taking a sip. She started to read again.  
  
"Force Famine?" She asked, with a little bit more distain than the others. The large woman raised her hand and waved slightly. "Please give your name, not some stupid codename." Famine was about to respond, rather irately in fact but the woman in blue started again. "I am here because you applied to do a quest as a team. Am I right?" Hiotomi put down her paper and looked up at her for the first time that evening.  
  
"You are the one holding the clipboard are you not?"  
  
"What a stupid question to ask!" She replied sharply.  
  
"My point exactly." Hio simply retorted. A stifled laugh came from Famine and a smirk from her smaller, green haired counterpart. After a second or too to regain her composure, the woman, who was now evidently from the hunters guild started up again.  
  
"I have a quest for you. A force named Cicil needs help on a... personal matter." Handing the papers to each of the women she turned back sharply and left before any one of them could complain. There was an address on the bottom and a little note.  
  
'Come alone.'  
  
All three sweat dropped. How can a team come alone?  
  
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"This is our client's home?" Famine asked, looking up at the number on the flats in an area directly below the teleporter to Ragol. This area wasn't rough, it's just not what they where expecting as it was a very busy and dirty place, and a lot of forces don't like busy, and would much rather stay in nice green places like parks and forests, where it's clean and calm. Hiotomi shrugged and made her way up the stairs to the client's apartment.  
  
"Money is money." She responded as they made their way up. Angitia knocked on the door lightly, waiting for a response. Soon enough a call came from the other side.  
  
"Who is it?" It was a voice that almost screamed fear, if it wasn't so calm and quiet. This was going though Hiotomi's mind, the fear in the voice. Angitia was thinking about the dirt in this place and Famine thought about how she missed breakfast to come here.  
  
"The Hunters from the guild you ordered for." The elf replied. A slight pause followed as all three of them had now turned their attention to the door where they stood patiently. Though they didn't have to wait too long as the sound of a key undoing the door echoed in the empty corridor.  
  
With the door open, the three could see their client, a force it was indeed wearing white with light blonde hair and blue eyes. One noticeable thing about her was she was fat, though not as big as everyone's favourite fat force Famine.  
  
"Please, come in." and so they did. The inside was cleaner than the out but it was obvious that is wasn't her home. There where no pictures on the wall, no real things that a person would consider to do with a home. It had the barest commodities, with the lounge set up for conferences rather than for relaxing with one sofa facing another. Famine and Angitia sat on one side with Hiotomi stood behind them, and Cicil sat on her own the other side. "I need help with a personal problem of mine." She started, and then glanced at Famine. "And you are?"  
  
"Um... I'm Famine, one of the hunters you asked for?" This seemed to make her a little worried as Famine became confused.  
  
"No, I asked for a physically fit hunter or force." Cicil replied to her large equal.  
  
"You asked for our group mam, if you are not happy then we shall leave, but a lot of hunters do not take on 'personal problems'." Hiotomi commented. The sun glinting off her glasses making it impossible to see her eyes.  
  
"No, no. You two stay." She gestured to Hiotomi and Angitia. "But if you could leave." She asked Famine, who stood up, bowed lightly and left. Hiotomi didn't protest and she stopped Angitia from doing so by squeezing her shoulder lightly.  
  
"Now, if you could explain to us why you wanted Famine to leave miss Cicil?" Angitia questioned the force, almost immediately after her large friend had left.  
  
"Alright. I am to be married soon." She started. The elf wondered what that had to do with anything. "However, I wanted to become stronger and find my husband to be the perfect wedding present, unfortunately to do so I travelled down to Ragol where I was injured a lot." She paused and starched her cheek.  
  
"I think I can see where this is going." Hio said lightly. You couldn't get a thumbtack past this ranger without her knowing, she had a 6th sense about this sort of thing.  
  
"So I used recovery items. It seemed okay to start with, just a few pounds on to, what used to be, my light frame. But as the days went on I became bigger and bigger. I knew I had to lose weight because I burst out of my wedding dress trying to put it on, but when ever I went down to lose weight, I hurt myself and used recovery items."  
  
"A catch twenty two." The Fonewearl called, in realisation.  
  
"Yes, and now I'm far too big to even move properly, my wedding dress won't fit at all. I MUST lose weight before my fiancée sees me!" She called again.  
  
"Which is why you sent Famine out the room?" Angitia asked with a laugh. This confused Cicil exceedingly.  
  
"Wha?"  
  
"Famine's stomach is muscle, even if she has a little fat on her that is just muscle. She has been to all the health clubs and diet schemes to lose weight; fact of the matter is she can't. Simple as that."  
  
"However if you wish us to help you, then I must ask you pay for each of us and you must let Famine in on this quest." Hio went in to her negotiation mode. Cicil shook her head. "Very well, we must go. Good day, and have a good wedding." Hio could be so cruel at times. The pair left her as she thought. The force stood up in her apartment and went to the draw in her room and pulled our a lovely forces wedding dress, it was a brilliant white with lovely gold and purple on it. She held it up against her to see there was no way, and with that... she sprinted out the door.  
  
"H-HEY! WAIT UP!"  
  
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What do you think of that? Fat Force Famine, Hiotomi the ultimate ranger and the clumsy but ever-lovable Angitia all working together to help poor Cicil to lose weight? Will they do it? Faulst knows. 


End file.
